You know you live in Utah when…..

[Jenny SmithParticipant]

Green jello with carrots mixed in doesn’t seem strange.

You can pronounce Tooele.

The U is not just a letter – Neither is the Y, and you’re hoping to become a True Aggie on the A.

You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.

You’ve gotten both heat and frost burns off your car’s door handle in the same month.

You learned to drive in the Church parking lot.

You are not surprised to hear words like “Darn, Fetch, Flip”, “Oh, My Heck” and “Shoot”.

You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.

30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.

The largest liquor store is the state government.

You know the difference between a ‘Steak House’ and a ‘Stake House’.

You believe the left lane is the slow lane.

A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.

Even though he was born and raised in Connecticut, you consider Steve Young a Utah native.

If you couldn’t raise your children in Utah, Connecticut would be your second choice.

Hotel rooms all have a Book of Mormon.

You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.

You know why Lindon didn’t put an ‘L’ on the mountain. (Because then the letters between the U and the Y would spell U-G-L-Y.)

You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.

You’re on your own if you are turning left.

Schools stay open even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.

People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.

The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.

Your neighbors drive to Idaho to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.

Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.

You’ve never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.

You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.

You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.

If you were shocked to find out that the 24th of July was not a national holiday.

The neighbors welcomed you to your new home with a loaf of zucchini bread.

Your local Wal-mart sells The Six Be’s.

Your local Wal-mart is sold out of The Six Be’s.

If at least one member of your family has a pseudo-French name such as LaVell, LaDell, or Bidet.

If your name is LaVell, LaDell, or Bidet.

At least one member of your family has an ordinary-but-alternatively-spelled name: Aimye, Aaric, Kaytlan, Sherin, Montee, Randl, etc.

You never give directions to your home — you just rattle off your address.

You can’t find your way home if it’s too foggy to see the mountains.

You are not surprised to hear that if you fall off a moun-uhn near Lay-uhn you’ll be hur-uhn.

You have seen a sign in front of a house that says “For Sell”.

The sign is in front of your house.

You think scones should be deep-fried.

You hide your caffeinated beverages under the breakfast cereal in case you run in to your visiting teachers at the grocery store.

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