Addiction Recovery

[Jenny SmithParticipant]

Needing my Savior

I often wonder how different my life would have been had I not found myself compelled to be humble (see Alma 32:13).

Since coming back to the gospel, I have heard some say that they were more blessed because they didn’t need to be humbled – they realized it themselves and came back on their own. That may be very true, and I will not dispute another’s feelings or testimony. All I can tell you is how I feel about being compelled.

I never thought I would become an addict. Who plans for that as a goal? As far as I could tell, my life was going smoothly and well. But that easy path just wasn’t meant to be.

I became an addict.

Some ask why I talk about addiction so much, and I suppose for them, I can only say that I need to talk about it, not because the addict label defines who I am, but because I realize I can help others understand there is a way out. There is freedom from addiction.

There is freedom through Christ.

You see, if I had continued on the path of my youth, going to church because it was expected of me, I never would have felt the need for a Redeemer. How can a Savior save someone who doesn’t think he needs to be saved? How can a Redeemer buy someone back who doesn’t know he’s sold himself into spiritual slavery?

When do you realize how important a firefighter is? When you’re sitting in your comfortable home, playing games with the family? No. You don’t realize how important firefighters are until you’ve faced the stark reality of an out of control fire!

It was the same with me.

When my life was going smoothly, I could happily think that God was in His Heaven and all was right with the world. But later, I became acutely aware that I didn’t want God to be in His Heaven – I needed Him here. I needed Him with me – in hell – to first show me that there was a way out, and then to take me by the hand and lead me out.

As I look back to when I first gained that realization, I also became aware that Satan had been telling me the most horrible lies. He told me that I could never be forgiven. He told me that I could never again feel pure and clean – that I would never be invited back inside the Kingdom.

He lied.

He lies to all of us. I know this because even now, I remain completely unable to fight my addictions on my own. I remain absolutely dependent on my Savior to stay with me and keep saving me. I hope I shall always realize that I need Him in my life to lead me, guide me, save me and redeem me.

I hope I shall always realize my utter dependence on Him to protect me from the temptations, lies and half-truths Satan throws at me.

I hope I shall always be able to declare that my heart is swollen with joy, unto the gushing out of many tears, because of the great goodness of God in delivering me out of the hands of my enemies (see 3 Nephi 4:33). As it is now, “I cannot say he smallest part which I feel (see Alma 26:16)

Captained by Christ © 2006 James Hofheins – For speaking engagements or other information, please email [email protected] Or call (801) 835-9715

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