Infighting with the girls

[Anonymous User]

We recently hads a new YW move in and the some of the girls have not taken a liking to her. Others she gets along with great. The problem is with the ones that don’t. They have literally pulled her aside between classes or dances and berated her and called her every name under the sun. And the ones that do like her they are shunning and calling names as well. Thankfully they are strong and remain active. We as a presidency are lost as how to handle this. It is getting out of hand and is affecting the program. It is breaking our hearts to see our girls at odds because this wasn’t an issue before. We have decided to have the Bishop speak to the girls in question but after that how can we help foster good relationships between the girls without them tuning us out immediately? We love them all and don’t want to lose them….please help!

[Jenny Smith]

Phew — this is a nasty one. I’m glad you didn’t post too many details; I’d hate for someone to stumble on this website and find themselves described in the text. But I think the general situation is a common problem.

Girls can be so spiteful, thinking they are being “mature” by confronting others, when in fact they are demonstrating immaturity and pride. I hope that parents have been made aware of the problems. I would sure want to know about something like this if my children were involoved.

It may be that the only thing you can do as leaders, besides praying and setting a good example, is focusing lessons and activities on unity, courtesy, and friendship. Hopefully the influence of the Spirit can help the girls understand why thier behavior is unacceptable. Girls don’t have to be best friends, just respectful of others as children of God.

There are a number of lessons in the YW manuals that might be of use to you. Here are links to my lesson help pages that also have references from the Ensign and New Era:

Manual 2:
Lesson 7: Living in Love and Harmony
Lesson 8: Improving Communication Skills
Lesson 9: A Young Woman as a Peacemaker in Her Home
Lesson
40: Self-Mastery
Lesson 49: Valuing and Encouraging People with Disabilities

Manual 3:
Lesson 43: Associations with Others
Lesson 40: Loving Ourselves and Others

There are some object lessons that deal with the theme that when we hurt others we hurt the Savior in the database:
Christlike Love Object Lessons
Contention Object Lessons
Unity Object Lessons
Judging Object Lessons
Hatred Object Lessons

Hope this helps!
-j

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