THE RELIEF "SOLE"-CIETY

This humorous skit has been performed in units all over the Salt Lake Valley in recent years.  My copy doesn't have any information about its origin, so if you know who wrote it, please let me know at jennysmith.net@gmail.com.  This skit is sometimes also called the Shoe Skit because it has so many shoe-related puns in it.

Characters:
•	Relief Society President
•	Sister Blister
•	LOAFER #1
•	LOAFER #2
•	FLIP-FLOP #1
•	FLIP-FLOP #2
•	SNEAKER #1
•	SNEAKER #2
•	SLIPPER #1
•	SLIPPER #2
•	BOOT #1
•	BOOT #2
•	HIGH-HEEL #1
•	HIGH-HEEL #2

Props:
•	none

Costumes
•	none, but characters should wear the type of shoes  they are playing.  For example, LOAFERS should wear a pair of loafers, etc.
RS President: 	Hello, Sister Blister. Can I help you.
Sister Blister:  	I don't know. My SOLE is really hurting.
RS President: 	Yes, I can see that you are in need.
Sister Blister:  	Oh, I am afraid I'm beyond help. You see I'm becoming CALLUSED And I FLATLY refuse to think that there's any hope for me.
RS President: 	Now, now, don't talk that way. You've take a STEP in the right direction coming to our conference. After all, this is the Relief-SOLE-ciety and we specialize in taking care of DE-FEET.
Sister Blister:  	You do?
RS President: 	Oh yes. We have a solution for the Relief Society sisters like you. What you need is Visiting Teachers to FIT your needs and offer tired SOLES some SUPPORT.
Sister Blister:  	(with great relief in her voice) Oh, I need Visiting Teachers now!
RS President: 	Not so fast! Not just any Visiting Teachers will do. You have very special needs, so we must be selective to obtain the most COMFORTABLE FIT. Let me show you what I mean.
(VISITING TEACHERS COME OUT IN THEIR LOAFERS)
Sister Blister:  	They look very nice.
RS President: 	Yes, but they're really just a couple of LOAFERS. They accepted the call to be Visiting Teachers but they just refuse to get INSTEP with the program.
LOAFER #1:	Should we go Visiting Teaching, Penny?
LOAFER #2:	I can't. I'm studying to be an OXFORD graduate Besides by ARCHES are killing me.
(LOAFERS EXIT)
Sister Blister:  	They don't seem very SUPPORT-ive.
RS President: 	The Visiting Teachers I know truly love and understand Relief Society sisters. They are vivacious and energetic and work hard to help you in any way they can. Let's keep looking. Here comes another pair, but I don't think you'd want them either.
(VISITING TEACHERS ENTER WEARING FLIP FLOPS)
Sister Blister:  	Why not?
RS President: 	Well, sometimes they visit and sometimes they don't. They FLIP-FLOP back and forth.
FLIP-FLOP #1:	Let's go visiting teaching. 
FLIP-FLOP #2:	Oh, let's not. 
FLIP-FLOP #1:	Okay, let's not.
(FLIP FLOPS EXIT)
Sister Blister:  	I guess they're the THONG kind of Visiting Teachers to have.
RS President: 	Oh dear, I'm afraid so! The sisters I know are so dependable. You can always count on them!
(VISITING TEACHERS ENTER WEARING SNEAKERS)
Sister Blister:  	What about these two? Are they for me?
RS President: 	Well, I have my doubts. They're really in the FAST LANE.
SNEAKER #1: 	Oh, I don't think I can STRETCH my schedule to fit in Visiting Teaching this month.
SNEAKER #2: 	Me either MARY-THON.  I know I'm certainly TIED up.  Maybe we can just SNEAK in and out.
(SNEAKERS EXIT)
RS President: 	KEDS will be KEDS I guess!
Sister Blister:  	I'm afraid I'm never going to find the right Visiting Teachers for me.
RS President: 	Oh. We will! Please don't get discouraged. There are sisters who will take time to get to know you. They would not think of SPRINTING in and out. Their SUPPORT of others is more than CUSHY AIR SUPPORT. When they visit you they will have a special spirit and strong testimonies, too.
(FURRY SLIPPERS ENTER)
Sister Blister: 	Boy, they look great!
RS President: 	Yes, but don't let their appearance fool you! There is no strength beneath that soft exterior. They say they want to help and may even offer, but sooner or later you'll find that these Visiting Teachers always manage to SLIP OUT of their callings.
SLIPPER #1:	What are we going to do? Sandy said she needed help moving today, but I've got to go FLUFF up for my date tonight! 
SLIPPER #2:	LOOSEN up!  We don't need to do an actual home visit.  I said “hi” to her at the mall last week.
SLIPPER #1: 	FUR-sure!!!
(SLIPPERS EXIT)
Sister Blister:  	Wow! I'm afraid I would have a hard time knowing when those two were FUR-real.
RS President: 	My Visiting Teachers are so GENUINE you would know that they were sincere about helping you. They are WARM and friendly and true examples of women who love the gospel and their sisters.
(BOOTS ENTER)
Sister Blister:  So, what about them?
RS President:	Oh, Dear-oh, Dear! I'm afraid not. They STOMP INTO you home and TAKE OVER. They can really TRAMPLE enthusiasm.
BOOT #1: 	Hi!  We just visited your neighbor Sister Bunnion.
BOOT #1: 	It looked like someone had been in there with the ugly stick, but we SPURRED her on.
BOOT #2: 	Say, your hair looks better than it usually does....  Now let's BUCKLE down and give your problems the BOOT.
(BOOTS EXIT) 
Sister Blister: 	Boy, talk about LOOSE TONGUES. They just say the first thing that comes their minds.
 RS President:	I'm afraid their acceptance of others is very CORN-ditional. But don't give up hope. I know we will find true Visiting Teachers who lead in such a kind and gentle way. They're dependable and bless the lives of those they serve.
(HIGH HEELS ENTER)
RS President:	Now these Visiting Teachers are the ones we are looking for.
Sister Blister: 	(excitedly) Oh yes! They do look so UPLIFTING!
HIGH HEEL #1: 	Our goal as visiting teachers is to help you reach new HEIGHTS.  We'll RISE to the occasion and help you REACH your potential.  We'll STAND beside you and give you all the SUPPORT we can.  We want to LIFT your spirits each time we visit.
HIGH HEEL #2: 	The visiting teaching messages we share help to ELEVATE all of us.  We'll help you understand the POINT of each message to help HEEL your troubled SOLE.
 Sister Blister: 	These Visiting Teachers are the best FIT! I'm sure these are the Visiting Teachers that can RAISE my spirit and HEEL my tired SOLE!